The Better Half

T

By MALOU E. ROSAL

February 6, 2011, 2:33am

For Monsour and Joy del Rosario, marriage is teamwork. (Photo by RUDY LIWANAG)

 MANILA, Philippines – The proposal, or the prelude to it, began with a conversation about children.

Joy Zapanta had met Monsour del Rosario a few years earlier when she joined a Bakbakan or mixed martial arts class. She had always been into sports, in fact more so than any other girlie-girl activity like, say, shopping. Their master had assigned Mon to teach the drill, and in between sparring and kicks, they got to know each other pretty well.

For an international taekwondo champion and action superstar, Mon initially appeared to be a quiet and unassuming fellow. But Joy would revise that opinion as he revealed his funny and playful side in the days to follow. On the other hand, Mon was immediately impressed by Joy’s interest in martial arts. At that time, not many women of her social standing would take the time and effort to seriously train.

The intense training schedule brought them closer and soon enough, the teasing from friends started the ball rolling. And on that late afternoon in Anilao, after they had been dating for a few years, they chanced upon a mutual observation: they were both good with kids.

Opening his gym and teaching taekwondo to kids brought out Mon’s love for children.  For her part, Joy would do volunteer work to care for cancer kids at the Makati Med. They both arrived at the conclusion that they would make good parents someday.

It was in the process of this conversation that Mon broached the subject of marriage. He remembers saying: “If I can be a good father and you can be a good mother, what do you think? Maybe we can get married? We’re getting old na.”

As Joy was open to the idea, Mon asked: “Okay, what do I have to do first?” And she said, “You have to buy me a ring.”

“So I worked for that ring,” Mon continues.  “I made a movie in India and the money I made from that was what I used to buy the ring. Then I told her, ‘O, I have the ring na. Do I give it to you?’”

Joy laughs at the memory of that perfectly straightforward, though un-romantic question. “Imagine, he was just going to hand it over to me! Surprise me naman!”

Mon was at his wits’ end, trying to figure out how to “surprise” his fiancee. He comments: “I’m not really the romantic kind of guy. I’m more of the action man. So I asked her how.”

Ever helpful, yet with much amusement, Joy began citing examples of how friends had proposed to their girlfriends. Eventually, Mon came up with a unique plan, remarkable for its originality and level of difficulty.

Enlisting the aid of his taekwondo master, Mon announced that he would do a demonstration that would dazzle a stadium-full of martial arts enthusiasts. Incorporated into this demonstration was Mon’s surprise proposal. Mon talks about it like it just happened yesterday: “Tamang-tama, that day when I picked her up, she had this weird dream that I was so bad daw. So I took advantage of that. I said I’m going to fight with her para she won’t suspect that I was cooking up a surprise.”

Joy remembers too: “So, when I got there, I was going to leave. I was so mad, I was going to walk out.”

Then the demonstration came. Mon picks up the story:  “The announcement said, ‘This is going to be a one-time thing, you’ll never see this again.  He’s going to attempt to do a back flip and break two boards up in the air while jumping up...’ So I’m doing my kata and I break the boards... then I move back and I said this is it. I looked at Joy seated in the audience and I jumped, broke the two boards, spun in the air and landed at the back in my fighting stance.  And when I landed, a big tarpaulin falls down. The tarpaulin had her face and the words ‘Will you marry me?’

Joy reacts:  “I was crying and hiding under the arm of our master. This happened in front of the whole stadium!”

And in the midst of all these, Joy’s favorite song was playing. “I’d rather spend bad times with you than good times with someone else...”  Mon’s surprise proposal was indeed, one for the books. Quite a romantic, after all.

About seven months later, they became man and wife.

Looking back, Mon confesses that he was very hesitant to get married because of his traumatic experience as a child coming from a broken home. At 12 years old, he was brought to court and made to choose between his parents.  “It wasn’t an amicable separation between my parents. Up to this very day, I don’t think they will be at peace with each other.”

But Mon recognizes God’s hand in bringing Joy to his life. “Maybe God sent her to me to change me and make my life better.  Before, every time I would think of getting married and having a family, I’d think of how I grew up and it would scare me. But I guess her tremendous support and love cannot be denied.  I have never met a woman who really fought hard for me. Only her. She felt like I was wasting my life, throwing it away, parang sayang daw my life.  She said I was being pulled back daw and she was trying to pull me out of it. She saw the goodness in me.”

“Sometimes kasi, people realize things when they don’t have it. I try to think differently,” Joy gently shares. “Count the blessings you have.  I know that my family’s very close but I see Mon whose family was not exactly whole, and I couldn’t imagine not having my family around all the time. When I see Mon like that, I feel how lucky I am. But I don’t want na hanggang doon na lang. There are so many things that haunt him. But you can’t be born that way and die that way. That would be sad. Because after a while, it’s all up to you.”

Today, the troubles of the past remain in the past. Even as life continues with its many challenges,Team del Rosario moves on and works like a well-oiled fighting machine. Mon has his work cut out for him as a councilor for the city of Makati, teaching taekwondo at the Olympians Taekwondo Training Center, and starring in an action-themed television program. Aside from helping organize Mon’s office at the municipio, Joy tends to the family’s properties and real estate interests.  It’s a teamwork born out of mutual respect and recognition of each other’s strengths.

Joy says: “I think there are similarities and there are also differences. Mon can talk and talk, me I’m more careful. Sometimes, we’d be opposites, but sometimes we enjoy doing things together.  I’m more the quiet one. Mon performs well when there are people watching. I don’t like people watching.”

“Our teamwork is good,” Mon continues. “Joy has strengths that I don’t have.  She plans, she’s very well organized. Like in my campaign for councilor of Makati, she was able to fit the budget for six months. All I have to do is perform well and do the right things.  We work well together and we succeed in whatever endeavor we get ourselves in.”

This success extends to their two children, Matthew who is four and Isabel who is two.  Even now, little Matti watches eagerly as his Dad teaches taekwondo. When she sees her brother practicing, Isabel practices too. Mon says: “I can’t wait for them to get a little bit older and explain to them, but I’m not gonna force it down their throats. I don’t want them to do what I did. I want them to be their own persons. Though I want them to get a black belt, learn to fight as early as they can. But to become a champion is their choice.”

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