Sex libido killers

By Philip Chua
Cebu Daily News

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ABOUT 33 percent of men over 40 and as many as 15 million men in the US have erectile dysfunction (ED). While low sexual desire is another condition, ED in men can induce lack of libido because of the awareness, consciousness, and fear of inability to have effective erection during intercourse. The problem of low sex libido is likewise significant among women in general, especially among those with lack of natural vaginal lubrication. The dilemma is really widespread around the world, affecting not only older persons but individuals as early as in their 30s or 40s.

One of the most enjoyable instinctive pleasures in life is intimacy with a loved one, and yet a significant number of us seems to have lost the desire for sex. Why? What kills this natural drive?

There are many factors in today’s complex society that kill natural sex libido, negatively affecting millions of man and women.

Age is one of them. As we grow older, our sex hormones dwindle as expected, and with this goes our sex drive. Of course, this varies a lot among individuals. There are persons who continue to be sexually active, many without the aid of medications, even past their 60s and 70s. Some are actually “addicted” to sex.

Besides genetics, general health plays a major role in our sexual health.

The so-called HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder) is mostly caused by these additional factors:

1. Psychological—Daily stress, anxiety, anger,

jealousy, envy, greed, depression, and actual mental disorder

2. Medical—Illnesses, like diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure), obesity, elevated cholesterol level, medications for treatment of hypertension, hair-loss drugs, HIV medications, chemotherapy agents, etc.

3. Hormonal—The sex hormone testosterone, which affects both men and women could be so low, among the older persons, although this also happens to a lesser degree in some young people, causing low sex drive. Deficient thyroid hormone and elevated prolactin hormone can cause the same problem.

4. Intrinsic Chemical—The brain is considered the largest sex organ, contrary to what some people might believe. The brain chemical messaging system that transmits and triggers sex desire, in response to external and internal stimulation, involves dopamine, among others, which increases sex libido. This is obvious among Parkinson patients being treated with dopamine-stimulating drugs.

So, if your sex drive is on neutral or on park, if could be possibly due to any of the conditions or factors above, or from any specific situations we will explore below. Analyzing your personal situation is a good start before seeking medical help.

One of the commonest libido killers, as listed above, is stress. This could come from a variety of situation, like work-related stress, money problem, personal or family health dilemmas, family relationship stress in general, all of which are stressors that knock out sex drive. Among women, vaginal dryness can contribute to lack of sexual appetite. But this condition is readily solved by a variety of lubricants available today.

Unresolved issues, from many fronts, are common causes of low sexual interest. Women, in particular, need emotional intimacy for a successful sexual arousal. While most men in general are more interested in the physical act, women are more into emotions and deeper meaning of a relationship. Any question of loyalty or brewing arguments can diminish sexual drive.

Fatigue, lack of sleep, lack of energy, busy routines with a lot of unfinished work, etc can take a big toll on the interest for sexual intimacy. Like in with any activities that need concentration, sex requires the mind to be fully engaged for the other parts of the body to function properly. Any distraction, external or internal, will negatively impact the drive.

Obesity is one condition with a social stigma that can lessen sexual desire, even if its medical and

hormonal side-effects are not considered in this

discussion. The body mass index alone affects the

actual performance, and the beholder and potential partners may also be less aroused. Medical conditions obese persons are prone too may also have the same impact.

Then, there is also self esteem as a part of the equation. Poor body image from being overweight will

decrease the feeling of the person that he/she is sexy. This in itself diminishes the libido. And, as stated

earlier, the partner could also be negatively influenced by this.

Among the external factors is alcohol intake. While one drink might be a stimulus for some, it could be a severe downer for others. I have often quoted Shakespeare, who wrote “alcohol increases the desire but

diminishes the performance.” The threshold, of course, varies from person to person, as far as their tolerance to the stimulating or sedative effect of alcohol. Some partners are also turned off by alcoholic breath alone, and, of course, more so, by majority, if not all, by the actual state of inebriation.

Smoking, cigarette-breath, and smoking cough are turn-offs for some people. When the lungs are weakened by smoking, the oxygen they can provide is

diminished, and so with the energy and physical

fitness of the smoker. This includes sex libido. Of course, the effect will be directly proportional to the damage already caused by smoking.

Along the same line, parenting can negatively influence the desire for intimacy, its timing, and opportunity. While it is not major problem, it can be a factor. A new addition to the family can certainly use up a lot of time and energy of the one taking care of the infant. Sometimes, it is worth hiring a baby-sitter, even occasionally, to free-up some time for rest, relaxation, and romance.

Medications can cause decreased sex libido. Drugs that zap libido include antidepressants, blood pressure medications, some oral contraceptives, medications for HIV, chemotherapy agents, tranquilizers, sedatives, even cough suppressants.

Menopause, on either gender, but more especially among females, where hormonal changes cause

decrease in libido and aggravated by dryness of the vagina, definitely lead to plummeting sexual desire.

Healthy lifestyle, including exercise and calorie

control to prevent obesity and promote a sexy body, and prevention of diseases, will tremendously

enhanced everyone ability to improve their libido and sexual performance. There is no drug that can replace or equal this natural strategy.

Finally, I cannot overemphasize the value of intimacy in a relationship. Creating a romantic atmosphere as often as desired or whenever possible among couples, no matter how old they are, and simply starting the day right, being nice to each other, being playful, snuggling together, or just holding each other, can help a lot in cementing a warm, loving, and enduring relationship. The bonus of improved or heightened libido is a great dividend for both partner for all the efforts and considerations they each invest in this endeavor of love.

*Please visit www.PhilipSchua.com

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