Go ahead, light that cigarette

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IN MY outpatient clinic, I often receive patients complaining of cough and difficulty in breathing. After careful observation, I ask the patient, “So, How many sticks of cigarette do you consume in a day?” They hesitate to answer.

“How long have you been smoking?” When I see subtle clues that the patient is a smoker, I usually don’t ask if the patient smokes.

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Patients sometimes pride themselves of smoking since their teen years. They started smoking because their friends or families smoked. “If you can’t beat them, join them.”

After a brief explanation that smoking is the cause of the patient’s complaints, I ask, “When do you plan to quit smoking?” This is where I am amused by the different replies I get from my patients. Many would say, “I have quit, Doc.”

“Since when?” I ask. “When my cough started,” the patient would reply.

“Do you have plans of going back to smoking after I relieve you of your complaints?”

Then the patient humors me with his reply.

“No, Doc.”

I smile and tell my patient, “Istoryahe!”

Smokers deny the fact that to quit smoking is a difficult process. They often boast, “I can quit anytime I want but I don’t want to do it just yet.” Many smokers have tried more than once to quit smoking. They remain smoke-free for a few weeks but relapse after a night out with friends. To quit smoking is not easy if your family or friends are smokers.

Cigarettes are addicting. Some of the constituents of cigarette smoke affect the emotion centers of the brain and stimulate your heart. Many also claim that lighting a cigarette lightens up their mood.

So light that cigarette. It can help.

They help doctors make a living when you get smoker’s cough or chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Cigarette smoke destroys our lungs and increases the incidence of lung infection. It also increases the likelihood of getting lung and oral cancer.

Light that cigarette today and visit your doctor tomorrow.

Smokers also help solve the problem of overpopulation. Smokers often have short life spans because smoking increases the risk of heart disease, stroke and sudden death.

Cigarette smoke contains chemicals that are poisonous or dangerous like formaldehyde, arsenic, cyanide, naphthalene, cadmium, carbon monoxide, mercury, lead and chloroform. Smoking also causes erectile dysfunction. Forget birth control. Light that cigarette.

Cigarette smoke also helps kill insects because it contains DDT (a very potent insecticide). Smokers sacrifice their lungs and their health to help prevent dengue fever and malaria. Go ahead, light that cigarette. Burn your lungs and kill those mosquitoes.

Occasionally, patients joke about their smoking addiction and ask me, “Doc, what can help me permanently quit smoking?”

I reply, “Lung cancer. It’s free and effective.” [The author is a medical doctor and a triathlete.] (Dr. Raymund Reel Bontol)

Published in the Sun.Star Cebu newspaper on November 21, 2011.